Although this phrase is usually aimed at getting people to see past the external to see the good in others, in this instance, what’s on the inside is aimed at how we treat our bodies.

A friend of mine who smokes and drinks heavily has concerned me of late. Although from the outside, physically he looks fine, I worry about what’s going on inside of him. Living such a lifestyle as to go out and get blind drunk each weekend and to get through a pack or two of cigarettes each day is not serving him well in any way. In fact, although as I mentioned, not visible to the outside world, what is going on inside of him? How are his lungs and liver holding up? Are they struggling? Are they barely functioning? What results will they be showing with another 10 years of abuse?

I can’t help but think of the pain he could be silently inflicting on his family in years to come. What if he isn’t around to see his kids grow up? How will his parents feel if they outlive him? What will his wife do if she doesn’t have his back-up?

It’s easy to ignore what we can’t see. But if our heavy living was visible to us, would we make a change? If we could see our lungs turning black and our liver shrivelling up, would we change our unhealthy ways?

We know what unhealthy living can do to us, but it’s often a case of out of sight, out of mind – until something happens that will make us take notice. Often by then it is too late.

So, have a think about your lifestyle.  Is there anything you have been ignoring? Have you been putting something off because you can’t see the physical symptoms? Maybe now is time to do something about it, before it’s too late to rectify.

Roxy.x

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The amount of young people I see around these days wearing whatever they think is in fashion, despite how it actually looks, is unbelievable. Sure, denim shorts and cropped flowery tops may be all over the shops, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to look good on you!

Dressing for your body type is so much more important than following the latest fashion trends. You might love that dress, but it simply doesn’t work for you. If that’s the case, DON’T WEAR IT!

I have been guilty of this in the past (and sometimes even now). I like bargain shopping, but I have come to learn that it’s not a bargain if it looks crap or doesn’t suit me.

I see large teenage girls walking around in shorts with their a*ses hanging out, cutting their circulation off at their waist. If it doesn’t fit, don’t wear it!

And while we’re on that matter, jeans that flash the entirety of your underwear (boys, I’m talking to you too). It doesn’t look good – it seriously looks laughable. What are you thinking? And surely it can’t be comfortable having to pull up your pants all day.

Look, I am certainly no angel when it comes to fashion. I’m not immaculately polished and I have clothes that I don’t like the fit of, but I try to minimise the damage. I certainly won’t wear something because it’s apparently in fashion if it doesn’t suit me. I have bought things for fancy dress and then seen someone out around town wearing the same outfit for a night out (not fancy dress).

I’m not claiming to be a ‘fashionista’. All I am saying is that if it doesn’t fit you or doesn’t suit you, don’t wear it! You will look and feel uncomfortable. Feeling comfortable and dare I say sexy in something is the best outfit. You will look and feel confident and that makes any outfit look great!

Nicky.x

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We all have some kind of emotional voice in our head that tells us something we have come to believe as true over the years. Whether it was something that was instilled in us since childhood or through an unhealthy relationship, we hold false beliefs that do not serve us in our future.

It could be anything from ‘you’re not good enough’ and ‘you’re not smart enough’ to ‘you can’t run’ or ‘you’re terrible at saving’. Whatever that voice is in our head, it doesn’t have to be our truth. Although we may have been told it – even as a passing comment – these negative beliefs can take a hold in our mind until they become our imagined reality.

It’s time to let these beliefs go. Just because someone has imparted something upon us doesn’t mean we need to take it on as our reality.

We can change our beliefs; we don’t have to let them hold us back.

So, if there is something niggling away at you that is holding you back, think about it and challenge it. Is that truly your reality, or is it simply something that you have been told and believed to be true? Once you have figured that out, it’s time to take action and change that negative voice, which in turn can help change your reality.

Nicky.x

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We cover a lot of topics here at Mind Sweat. If you haven’t read the first edition, I urge you to have a look to see what I mean.

A topic came up recently in discussion about ‘manscaping’. Yes – men shaving, trimming, plucking and waxing. And with ‘Movember’ in full swing, what better time to talk about male grooming?

What are your thoughts on the subject? Do you like your man to have a bit of stubble or be as smooth as a baby’s bum? Do you think that if we need to make the effort when it comes to hair removal that they should too?

How much is too much? Do you think it emasculates a man when he takes the grooming a little too far, or would you prefer a smooth surface?

I think that keeping things tidy shows pride in one’s appearance, but there is pride and then there is obsession. When men’s bodies are a smooth as an Olympic swimmer, it might be taking it a bit too far.

It may be a bit of a double standard, but although I want to be smooth, I don’t expect my man to be. In my opinion, hair maintenance is down to personal preference. But guys, remember before you go in for the full body wax, it does take maintenance; but at least it may even give you an appreciation of what us women go through!

Nicky.x

P.S. My fella is participating in Movember. It takes a bit of getting used to, but it is for charity! Are any of your significant others taking part? What are your thoughts?

Pic courtesy of graur razvan ionut/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I often have very vivid dreams that can, well quite frankly, freak me out. From weird occurrences in places I don’t recognise to everyday occurrences in familiar places, I often wake up a little freaked out from the dream of the night before.

I know I am not alone here. If I just mention a crazy dream to a friend, I am met with complete understanding and empathy. Just do a quick Google search for dreams and you will find numerous results for dream meanings and Q&As from curious people.

I know that my dreams can have a huge impact on my mood – good or bad. Sometimes I can wake up with a sick feeling in my stomach, believing that my bad dream was real. That feeling can stay with me throughout the entire day if I can’t manage to shake it.

Other times, as soon as I wake up I know that it was all just a dream and I can feel relief that I am back in the ‘real world’. Either way, it’s amazing how something we have unconsciously fabricated in our minds can have such a huge impact on us.

Have you ever had any of these experiences, good or bad? How has it impacted on your mood for the day?

Nicky.x

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Comments made by Perth obstetrician Barry Walters recently has left many women reeling after he branded older women ‘selfish’ for having babies.

Although Mr Walters has since said his comments referred to the medical conditions associated with later life pregnancies, he has certainly started some heated debate about such an issue.

In an ideal world, we would all be living our ideal lives, whatever that may be for us, and everything would function like clockwork.

Unfortunately, this is the real world and it doesn’t quite work like that.

Women are delaying pregnancy for a number of reasons, and not always through choice. They may not have found the right partner or a suitable mate with whom they could create a new life. Women are also under pressure to perform in the world of employment and through having a baby, they could be jeopardising their chances to advance in their career, therefore they wait until they have established themselves in order to cement their place in the workforce.

Financially, it is hard to say that you will ever be ready to start a family. However, if a couple are struggling financially, they may not wish to bring a child into the world until they are capable of providing for it. This also connects to the work environment: with substandard maternity pay rates and lack of support, women or their partners may not be able to afford to quit work, even for a short time to take care of their new offspring.

Health and lifestyle factors can also slow a woman down when it comes to having a baby, with many wanting to kick a bad habit or even simply enjoy their youth child-free before settling down.

There are so many factors why many women are waiting until later in life to start a family and to brand it ‘selfish’ is not helping. As long as women are menstruating, they have the functioning reproductive organs that are necessary to conceive and carry a child. As long as they are aware of any risks and complications, as well as future problems (such as having the stamina to keep up with a young one), then whose right is it to stop them? I think this is where common sense and personal research need to reign supreme.

Nicky.x

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“The really happy person is the one who can enjoy the scenery even when they have to take a detour.” – Sir James Jeans

Life can be so fast paced that if for some reason a detour takes you off track it’s easy to get frustrated. Things you want to do have to get put off, it can feel like otherwise productive time has been wasted; not an enjoyable feeling. That frustration caused by feeling like you’ve ‘wasted time’, missed being able to do some trivial thing that may have needed your attention, you let get on top of you.

The truth is these things are not a matter of life or death, so perhaps the unexpected detour should just be taken in your stride. Maybe you should just sit back and enjoy the view. Perhaps you will see something unexpected, something you’ve driven past on the other side of for years. You’ve always taken the direct route, the one that allows you to get as much done as possible because that’s the one that makes you feel the most productive and which gives you the biggest sense of achievement.

A detour that detracts you from that positive feeling of course means it’s unlikely you’re going to feel satisfied and in turn be happy with the day. Unfortunately though, you can’t always control things and sometimes the roads need maintenance.

So maybe the happy person is the one that takes the detour and chooses to enjoy it. They are the ones that take the detour in their stride and realise that every moment is worth cherishing and enjoying.

Sam.x

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I just read an article that Australia is the second best place on Earth to live according to the UN human development index, finishing very close behind Norway. The index measures life expectancy, schooling and gross national income per capita: http://hdr.undp.org/en/statistics/ . So it got me thinking: why are so many Australians unhappy?

Statistics on the Beyond Blue website say that one in six Australians suffer from depression at any given time, with an average of one in five women and one in eight men. Depression is commonly caused by personal difficulties and life stressors. Is it a case of the better our lifestyle, the more we expect for it?

At the bottom end of the index is the Democratic Republic of Congo. The average life expectancy is just 48 years (Australian’s life expectancy is 82 years), and 60 per cent of the population is living below the poverty line. Children attend school for an average of just 3.5 years, while in Australia it’s 12 years.

The king of Bhutan used the phrase ‘gross national happiness’ (GNH) soon after the death of his father, to signal commitment to building an economy that would serve the country’s spiritual and cultural values. Could this be what Australia lacks? Are we a nation void of culture and spirituality? Obviously GNH is subjective in its indexing, but the basis is sustainable development, preservation and promotion of cultural values, conservation of the natural environment and establishment of good governance.

While we have so many suffering from depression, yet we have such a high quality of life, obviously the answer doesn’t lie in making our nation richer, improving our life expectancy or increasing education. We definitely can’t complain about our environment or our landscape. Maybe governance we can though.

At the end of the day, life is good, so what can be done when one million Australians will suffer from depression this year?

Sam.x

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